MARRIAGE: Delight or Disaster

COMPLETELY REVISED SECOND EDITION
 

By  Samuel M. Smith
 
 

First Edition . . . . Copyright © 1969
Second Printing . . . . 1981
Completely Revised Second Edition . . . Copyright © 1989

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means without approval of the publisher, Up Way Publications, excepting for brief quotations giving full credit and Copyright © notice.
 

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 89-51186
 

UP WAY PUBLICATIONS
P.O. Box 1015
Kailua,  HI  96734 

  IN 1969, when I first wrote MARRIAGE: Delight or Disaster, I had studied many books and all the Bible has to say on the subject of marriage and the relationship of the human male and female in a family unit. I had admired many beautiful and successful marriages and asked why and how they worked. I had also observed some not-so-happy marriages and divorce situations and asked why and how they failed. I attempted to be precisely accurate but impersonal and give information which would help those who read the book to enjoy the delight and avoid the disaster of marriage. 
  Many people told me that the book either helped them to save their marriages or that it helped them overcome marital difficulties. In fact, even my last file copy was borrowed and never returned so that I had to send for a copy from the Copyright Office to make the second printing, and now the last copy of that printing has vanished.
  However, there have been so many deep and seemingly permanent changes in the way the institution of marriage is viewed by a wide spectrum of American and indeed the world's population that,  while attempting to reconstruct the book as nearly as possible, I am incorporating changes that reflect the moral climate of 1989 in this totally rewritten edition.
  Here is a point to ponder before beginning to study this book further. Through marriage and the family unit,  the Great Creator ordained that man would learn to communicate his thoughts and ideas. Without this foundation, there would never have been any  buildings, automobiles, electric lights, radios, televisions or airplanes. I urge you to think about this fact before you move on to Chapter One.
  There are hundreds of books about marriage, and each has its own viewpoint.  But the best  source of all, one which I have found workable and true to life, is the Bible. As in 1969, my purpose in presenting this little book is to help you experience the finest DELIGHTS of a happy and successful marriage and to avoid the heartaches and griefs of a DISASTERous one; to help some find that perfect mate; to help others find a more perfect relationship in their marriage; and to render a ray of hope for others now living in misery.
  Everything I have to say in this book is carefully planned and prepared to give you the best possible chance of a delightful marriage. But because every person is different, you may be able to break every rule I suggest and still have a happy and successful marriage.  Or you may be ever so careful to do everything I say and still have a disaster. Your very best solution is to wait on the Lord for His choice and direction in your choice of a mate.

  We believe that true facts are the basis for all knowledge and understanding. We believe the Bible is true because it works,  and has withstood the test of time and scientific, geographic and historic accuracy.
  To obtain a right understanding of what God is trying to communicate to us. we must study everything the Bible says on the subject at hand, beginning with Genesis and ending with Revelation. It is important to remember that the writers of the New Testament were so used to the Old Testament and its historical facts, its laws and the prophets that they often said things which cannot possibly be correctly  understood by anyone who is not also familiar or at least acquainted with the Old Testament. Jesus Himself, said He did not come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it (Matthew 5:17). If this doctrine seems contrary  to the teaching of the church, we look up church history to discover if and when a change was made in that doctrine. A rule we apply to every scripture is to ask the following four questions:
     1. Who is speaking?
     2. To whom is he speaking?
     3. Is the author of that verse of scripture the person
       speaking, or is he quoting someone else?
     4. Is that particular passage an unsolicited        instruction, or is it a specific answer to a specific       question?
  (Example:  I Corinthians 7:1. "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me..." The Apostle Paul goes on to answer their questions rather directly as their overpastor in the next several chapters. He was not giving commandments directly from the Lord to people who were not already concerned with pleasing the Lord Jesus.
 
 

Contents
 
 

      FOREWORD ..................................  iii

      THE UP WAY PHILOSOPHY.......... iv
 

   Chapter                                                                               Page

 1 The Magic Called Marriage.............................................    1

 2 When Is A Couple Really  Married?............................... 11

 3 Finding that Right Mate*................................................. 17

 4 Dating and Premarital Petting*..................................... 23

 5 Why Do Marriages End?................................................... 31

 6 Avoiding Disaster*............................................................ 41

 7 Can A “Marriage On The Rocks” Be Saved?................ 47

 8 What About The Children?*........................................... 55

 9 May A  Divorcee Remarry?  ............................................. 61

     Additional Resources....................................................... 69

      * New Chapters this Edition
 
 

Additional Resources for Marital Advice:

Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson, Director, P. O. Box 35500, Colorado Springs, CO 80995-3550, or Educational Resource Department, P. O. Box 15379, Colorado Springs, CO 80935-5379 phone (800) 932-9123 or 1-800-A-FAMILY (for ordering only);

Christian Financial Concepts,  Larry Burkett, Director,  601 Broad Street,  S. E., Gainesville, GA 30501, phone (404) 534-1000.
 
 

Copying, storage or retrieval by any means without the express permission of Samuel M. Smith or Up Way Publications is expressly forbidden, excepting for brief quotations in critical reviews.